A six day week – canceling 1 day could save us 1/7th of our costs. Nothing should happen on that day, nothing, just breathing. Just pick any day. I would go for Wednesday. It’s hard to spell anyway.
Rent space in our enormous Village Hall to other towns. C’mon, do we really need a palace THAT BIG just for us?
As mentioned above, NO 4th of JULY parade or holiday period. I mean, the nation’s birthday was sooo long ago.
Get rid of the VC and the BOE. We’ll save a lot of hot air that way and who knows what else.
Do we really need a town swimming pool? Get rid of Graydon and its subsidy; it’s a chemical laden toxic site anyway. Just think of how much we’ll save on insurance.
Cops should use horses. Hay is cheaper than gas.
School should only be 4 days a week. Less bad math to screw up our kids. Let the tutors parents hire fill in the gaps. They do that now anyway.
Let the Internet be our town library. Close the building down. Have all the library donations go into the now flush town fund.
Let’s get a blow up doll to be our superintendent. You think anyone will notice? Nah.
Ignore all state and federal mandates. That should save us a bundle. What are they going to do, invade?
Make divorce a 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 affair. Split everything equally between the husband, wife and town.
Kids are expensive, pay us a hefty fee if you want to have them.